DC Zoo Considers Euthanizing Ronald, the Elderly Orangutan, after Violent Incident

In a bold move, the Washington DC Zoo is seriously considering euthanizing Ronald, the elderly orangutan. "When he first arrived at the zoo, the public found it funny to watch him throw feces and bellow incoherently. Attitudes changed when he tried to take over the zoo, resulting in the tragic death of two zookeepers," stated Saffron McSweeny, the lead spokesperson for the DC zoo.