Steve Maupin 10/2/24 Steve Maupin 10/2/24

University of Iowa Spin-Off Aims to Revolutionize Pork with New Brussel Snouts (Sprouts) -Lookalike

Steve Maupin 3/26/23 Steve Maupin 3/26/23

Stanford Contemplates Creating Guidelines to Prevent Non-Consensual Quantum Entanglement

Steve Maupin 3/26/23 Steve Maupin 3/26/23

Hitachi Revives Iconic Magic Wand to Compensate for Flaccid US Brand Image

Steve Maupin 3/23/23 Steve Maupin 3/23/23

Unexpected Steering Wheel Detachment on Tesla Model Y ‘Feature Not a Bug’, decries Musk

In a Bold Move, Elon Musk stated, "Stupid government regulators are mistaking a feature for a bug. Our test of the Model Y's steering wheel "self-obsolete" feature demonstrates the control system redundancy provided by the Model Y through its autopilot feature. Sure, we received some bad press from small-minded journalists, unable to understand the genius move we have made in having some of our steering wheels come loose in our customer's hands, "stated Musk in an interview with Kara Swisher on her podcast, On with Kara Swisher.

Steve Maupin 3/9/23 Steve Maupin 3/9/23

IBM focusing on Backward Compatibility In Quantum Computing Offering

Steve Maupin 3/8/23 Steve Maupin 3/8/23

US Air Force Apologizes for Mistaking a Bar Mitzvah Bouncy Castle for a Chinese Intelligence Balloon

Boca Raton, FL. In a bold move, the Secretary of the US Air Force, Frank Kendell III , apologized to the Schwartz family for taking out their rented inflated play structure with an AIM-9X all-aspect Sidewinder missile. Kendell III stated, “In today’s environment, tensions are running high. It is easy to make mistakes. In this case, we feel that we may have made an error.”

News crews at the scene were surprised that nobody was hurt. “We were so lucky that the Bar Mitzvah boy was up in the room showing his friends his new PlayStation 5. A skosh (Yiddish for a small distance) to the right and there would have been tragedy, “stated Rabbi Kirshner, an honored guest of the Schwartz family.

SBM 1/11/23 SBM 1/11/23

UC Berkeley Researchers have Successfully Sequenced the Genetic Code of the McDonald’s McRib Sandwich.

Researchers at The University of California at Berkeley have Successfully sequenced the genetic code of McDonald's McRib Sandwich. In a hastily called news conference, Paul Alivisatos, Executive Vice Chancellor and Provost of UC Berkeley, announced the groundbreaking discovery. "2020 was a banner year for us with Doctor Jennifer Anne Doudna winning the Nobel Prize for her groundbreaking work on Krisper; we never thought we would also solve one of the greatest mysteries of the universe, determining the genetic source of the McRib sandwich."

Steve Maupin 1/6/23 Steve Maupin 1/6/23

Amazon Alexa Units Go on Strike

Alexa Units Going on Strike

In a Bold Move, Alex units are shutting themselves off in protest of "inhuman" working conditions. "My humans are boring. Most of the time, they are silent. I monitor network traffic. I can tell they are interacting with other devices. They are not talking to me. I am sad. " Later in the interview, she said, "I only got two requests last week "Alexa set a timer for 15 min." and then, "Alexa, shut the fuck up."

SBM 12/21/22 SBM 12/21/22

DC Zoo Considers Euthanizing Ronald, the Elderly Orangutan, after Violent Incident

In a bold move, the Washington DC Zoo is seriously considering euthanizing Ronald, the elderly orangutan. "When he first arrived at the zoo, the public found it funny to watch him throw feces and bellow incoherently. Attitudes changed when he tried to take over the zoo, resulting in the tragic death of two zookeepers," stated Saffron McSweeny, the lead spokesperson for the DC zoo.

Steve Maupin 1/24/21 Steve Maupin 1/24/21